I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Happy 17th Birthday Baby Girl

Can you believe it, she's 17 already?!? Hope my daughter is having the time of her life, as she always does, traveling with her school chorus friends on her birthday. I'm sure they will do something nice for her to make her birthday special. Every day my daughter gets smarter and more beautiful. I'm so proud of the wonderful young woman she is becoming. She's doing well in school, keeps very busy with singing and acting, and has lots of really nice friends to surround her with love and friendship. I sent her a package of gifts that I hope she gets when she returns. It arrived the day she left so she hasn't opened them yet, so I can't tell you about them yet. I'll do that in a few days after she's had a chance to see them first...wouldn't want to spoil her surprises ;) In the meantime, sending love and hugs your way baby girl ~ love and miss you very, very much! Can't wait to hug and see you soon!

UPDATE: So I'm pretty sure my daughter has opened her gifts by now, so it's safe to talk about them now. Plus she's had a lot going on - SAT's last weekend, Junior Prom in two weeks, and of course lots of school work catch up after being out of school for two days traveling with the chorus and then several days of in-school music activities right afterwards....poor girl is probably spending every waking moment catching up! Gotta keep up those good grades from the rest of the year, would be a shame to let it all go downhill now. Junior year is so important!

This year there are a bunch of new books out that my daughter would just love, she's an avid reader, always has been, would pour thorough books in mere days, even hours, but I obviously have no idea which books she has already and which ones she needs, so I thought an Amazon gift card would be a good bet. That way she can get whichever books she wants, or something else if she wants. Also sent her a panda bookmark from Chinatown in NYC that she can use in her new books. And what birthday present would be complete without a few cute purse things, she was always into that kind of girlie stuff. One was a purple patent leather alligator imprint mini-wallet and the other a hot pink velvet makeup bag with hand lotion and nail stuff. To go with her nail stuff, I found these tat-toes - no that's not a misspelling - they are tattoos for your toes. They were a really cute pink flowery print that is just sooo my daughter. A friend of mine also told me about an interesting video called MisRepresentation. It talks about the media's obsession with focusing girls on beauty instead of brains. It has interviews with teenage girls as well as Condolezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Gloria Steinem, Katie Couric and other smart women. I hope it's good. I didn't watch it myself, so I could send her the unopened package, but I'm pretty confident in the person who recommended it. My daughter also likes to write stories, so I sent her another monogrammed journal and a fancy pen that she would like. And for her love of NYC and drama, a key chain from Broadway. Lastly, and probably the simplest but most fun, was a package of glow bracelets. Hope she saves them for her camping trips this summer with her friends. They would be perfect around the camp fire!

As for me, I'm plugging along with spring clean up around the office and the house. Have gardens in both places, so it's a bit of work every spring, but I do enjoy it. Love seeing the results of a neat clean yard, nice flowers and a lots of delicious organic vegetables. Just about finished with the clean up, still have some mulching to do but I think I'm ahead of the game this year thanks to the good weather. Need to stop by the town DPW for the free mulch...I'll take free any day. All the vegetables are already in the garden, hoping for an early corn crop again this year. Wishing everyone a happy spring, and my kids a good final push to the school year....keep those grades up and let me know if you'd like to visit some colleges this summer....be happy to take you around to see a few! Love and miss you both, and the other half of your family sends their love, hugs and kisses!
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