I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Merry Christmas 2013




Getting in the Christmas spirit! The kids gifts are wrapped and sent out, and the holiday preparation has begun. The house is decorated, looks and smells like cozy winter, and the kids stockings and ornaments are all hung waiting for Santa, ha ha. Hey, in my house, Santa still comes, you might not believe, but I do and he hasn’t failed me yet. 

I’m making pies for Christmas and managed to finally perfect a scratch pie crust recipe over Thanksgiving, thanks to my friend Steve who gave me a great tip. I got three deer this hunting season – well actually, I got two and my neighbor gave me one because he already had enough – so I made tons of jerky (which is already gone) and tried my hand at sausage, which came out great. Will be making some of that for Christmas as well. I even tried making breakfast sausage and it came out awesome (if I don’t say so myself). It’s amazing what you can do with spices, who knew.

The Christmas cards with photos have been arriving each day. My cousin Marty’s boy Evan is getting so big and super smart, and my cousin Brady’s kids are so cute and a ton of fun to watch on Facebook. They live in DC and got a bunch of snow a few weeks ago, so they got a nice taste of winter and made their share of snowmen and forts. My friend who had a little girl and named her Cecilia (same as my daughter) is getting big too and even has the same big blue eyes as my baby girl. Just love watching all these kids grow, including my own. Life is good.

Excited to talk to my nieces in a few days. My oldest niece Sydney graduated high school and started college this year, can’t wait to hear how her first semester was. Rachel has been doing great in school and traveling all over playing soccer. She should be ready for volleyball soon, I’ll get an update in a few days. My god-daughter Abby has completed basic training in the Army National Guard Reserves and is living down south, not sure if I’ll get to see her for the holidays. Her sister Katie is busy with school and working at Savoia Bakery preparing to be a pastry chef in college.

My parents are hangin’ in and enjoying their retirement. Dad is feeling pretty good despite going in for a routine stress test and ending up with two heart stent surgeries. He’s feeling much better now that he’s had them done though. He and my step mom have been busy with some charity work they do for the Ocala Forest Children nearby their home in The Villages. I think my dad works a lot in retirement, but it’s a good kind of work and he certainly seems to be enjoying himself. My mom is doing good too. She didn’t stay here long this summer because she and my step dad bought a new house, literally right across the street from their old one, right before they left in the spring, so she was late getting here and left early to take care of things down in Florida. One of these years I’ll have to spend the holidays in Florida so I can see them both for Christmas.

I’ll spend New Year’s with friends nearby as I have for the last few years. They are friends that I snowmobile with and there is a whole mess of kids in the group. I think I mentioned last year that they put on a “New Year’s Spectacular” right after the ball drops that is so great – singing and dancing and performing. Love it. Speaking of ball dropping, wonder if my daughter knows about the Time Square Countdown app for her phone. It’s pretty cool. You can keep track of the count down in NYC and even get live streaming video. My daughter is crazy about NYC, pretty sure she’ll live there someday when she gets a job on Broadway. Who knows, maybe both my kids will be there - my daughter on Broadway and my son playing for the NY Giants ;)

I’m sure my kids will be busy through the holidays as well, despite the two weeks off of school, between play rehearsals and wrestling tournaments and family time with their mom’s family they will be plenty busy. Wishing them, and their friends and their mom’s family, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2014. They too have a whole bunch of younger kids around to make the holidays extra fun. Love and miss ya both very much and would love to see you….just call or email, I’m here for you, always will be, with open arms and an open heart. xox
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4 comments:

  1. UnknownDecember 22, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    You are a special man, wishing you the best holiday season!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JeffDecember 22, 2013 at 8:45 PM

      Awww, thanks Laurie, you're pretty special yourself my friend :)

      Delete
  2. john brosnanJanuary 8, 2014 at 8:47 PM

    This is so sad. I know this pain so well, Jeff. I wrote a story about PAS during the holidays on my blog: http://nomoresecretsandlies.blogspot.com/2013/12/parental-alienation-during-holidays.html

    There's also some good Facebook support groups that help. Don't go through this alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JeffJanuary 8, 2014 at 9:12 PM

      Thanks for your comments and twitter activity John. There certainly is a larger community of alienated parents than people who have never been through this would imagine. We are definitely not alone.

      Wishing you the very best and I hope you are reunited with your daughters soon....keep the faith, the positivity and the love, your daughters need you.

      Delete

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