Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to my friends and family, and especially to my son & daughter. The green and football gifts are for my son, the pink and black ones for my daughter. That's right ~ I "bothered" my daughter with Christmas gifts even though she asked me not to when she returned her graduation gifts this summer. It's not that I don't "respect my daughter's wishes," but rather, the way I see it, it's my parental obligation to bother my children with LOVE whether they want it or not. May your Christmas and New Year be filled with blessings and love!

Play Ball!

Oh wait, wrong sport, but right idea....I mean let's play football! In case you missed it on my Facebook page or Twitter, Patrick threw a perfectly placed 30-yard touchdown pass to start off a major upset over state-ranked Webster Thomas last night, at their homecoming. Webster Thomas' homecoming. Ouch! You can see it online here or by clicking on the photo. I'm so excited that now that he's playing varsity, I can see all this great stuff and enjoy watching him play. I know how much he loves the game and it's so cool to see him in his zone.

Speaking of homecomings, Spencerport (where my son plays) won their homecoming game last weekend over Gates and it was the first time they ever beat Gates. So the Rangers are on a roll....keep it going boys! You've got big fans over here on the east side...and in Florida, Nova Scotia and Naples too!

So with this big news I thought it was as good a time as any to post a little note. I've been slacking on the blog front, I know. It's just so much easier to post to Facebook or Twitter. My son turned 17 at the end of August. Sent him a small package with some dress shirts, cologne and a certificate to Dick's. I figure he's probably always needing something from there with all the sports he plays and the dress shirts and cologne would be good for all those sports banquets, school dances and ceremonies. It seems so unreal, he's still a 10 year old boy in my mind. That was the last time I really saw him and spent any time with him. He's grown into a fine young man, very smart, good grades and still loves his sports. He plays all year-round - football, wrestling and lacrosse, with some golf in the summer. Keeps him fit and healthy I'm sure.

Hope he knows how much I love and miss him. We all do. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. We all wish him the very best and are rooting for the Rangers to take it ALL THE WAY this year! Reach for it! Get it! Never give up!

Football already? Where did summer go?

I swear each year summer goes by faster and faster. No sooner do I get the kids report cards and then suddenly it’s time for football to start back up again. My son kicked some serious butt at school this year. His brilliance continues to amaze me. He’s going to have so many options for college and whatever he decides to do in life. My daughter did really well too and I was thrilled to see that she pulled through on her AP Biology course. I’m sure that was a ton of work, but she made it happen and that’s what counts.

Was also really great to see both of them in the August newsletter for their school – my son for participating in a fundraiser with his lacrosse team for cancer research and my daughter for singing with her choir at graduation. How cool to be able to perform at your own graduation!

Nothing makes me happier than seeing how much my son looks EXACTLY like me, although it is a bit like looking in a time warped mirror. No escaping the fact that my kids are Chapmans. In fact, this summer I got to see my Aunt Dawn, who I haven’t seen in many years because she lives out of town, and I was stunned at how much my daughter looks like her. To be fair, my daughter also looks a lot like her mother and grandmother on her mother’s side, but she’s also very  much a Chapman. Particularly her blue eyes, the shape of her face and her body.

In addition to seeing my Aunt Dawn, I got to spend a lot of time this summer in Naples visiting family. Aunt Dawn brought all of my cousins with her so there were a ton of kids playing in the pond at Uncle Hugh & Aunt Lori’s camp, including some kids my kids have never even met, my cousins’ kids. I still remember the fish my son caught in that pond. Such a fight it broke his pole! The kids came prepared with their dirt bikes and 4-wheelers. I couldn’t believe how good they were on them, especially the little girls! They do spend a lot of time camping though and a bunch of them are home schooled, so they learn different things….useful things like how to drive and be responsible with motor vehicles. Just so ya know, I was the first to spot and call out the Swiss Cheese church, every time, on the beautiful drive down to Naples  :) That ride never gets old, it’s breathtaking. I also took the 4-wheeler down to my Dad’s old cabin and grabbed a bunch of rocks out of the stream for my garden. The lawn chairs are still there sitting by the stream. Dad sold the place years ago and the guy who bought it got transferred with his job a few months after buying it. Now it only gets used a couple times a year when they vacation there. Such a shame. Wish I could have bought it just to keep it in the family. Lots of great memories with my kids there. They loved that place.

I also got to spend a lot of time with my Dad and step mom this year. They visited for 3½ weeks and stayed with me. It’s really nice being able to spend that time with him, it’s the only time we see each other during the year since they moved to Florida a few years back and sold the cabin. Dad is doing good, his health is recovering but he is getting rather forgetful and that makes me so sad. There were a lot of family parties, including several in Naples, a BBQ at my house, and my step brother’s son’s graduation from high school. My step-nephew Zack is the same age as my daughter. He will be going to MCC this coming fall. He’s not sure what he wants to study, so he’s just going to knock off his gen-ed courses and figure out what excites him. He works in the family restaurant in Webster when he’s not in school. My niece Rachel on the other hand knows exactly what she wants to do. She wants to study Forensics. She’s just now going into her junior year of high school and is looking around at colleges that offer soccer scholarships, probably here in the US. She’s a phenomenal soccer player and should be able to get some serious cash for college that way, she is being heavily recruited. My niece Sydney is going into her second year of college studying Therapeutic Recreation while living at home and working at the skating center in her town. She loves it and is also looking at opportunities to transfer into a US college, possibly near here. Would be great to have her stay with me for a year or two while she goes to school.

Speaking of schools, my 30th high school reunion was this year. Hard to believe it’s been that long, and yet it was definitely long ago. I saw a lot of people 5 years ago at my 25th reunion, but 30 years is a game changer. I couldn’t believe how many people were divorced, remarried, had kids and step kids, and more importantly were there with their new partners and getting along fine and having a great time joking around and telling stories with their former spouses and their new partners. Really made me smile that for as many people that go through bitter nightmare divorces, there are equal numbers of mature adults that behave otherwise. Those are the kinds of examples that children (even adult children) should see, so they know the world doesn’t have to be so black and white….all or nothing….exclusive control versus sharing….mine versus yours.

Lastly I would like to share with you a letter I got from my daughter last month. It was the first note and communication from her since her mom and I divorced in early 2008 when she was 11. I sent her a gift package for her graduation and it came back to me, fully opened and all the unwrapped presents still in the same box I sent it in, with this note written on the back of the card I sent her. It broke my heart and made me very sad. Sad that my daughter would say such a thing and be so disrespectful. It definitely didn’t feel like something the sweet young lady I raised would say nor did it reflect the Christian values that she was brought up with. I am completely perplexed on many levels, the first being that she turned 18 two months before she graduated, why wait until graduation to return gifts? Why not send back the 18th birthday gifts? In fact, if my gifts and love for her were so bothersome, why not send all the previous gifts over the years back? No need to wait until she was 18 to assert herself. She’s been asserting herself since the day she was born, why wait for a certain moment. The other thing that surprises me is that she even sent back the money I sent her for school. Now I have no idea if she is even going to college, but in any event, what 18 year old doesn’t want cash – none that I know.

Once I got over the initial shock of her letter, I realized that it really didn’t make any difference at all. She is still my daughter and I love her with all my heart, always will, no matter what, unconditionally. You can’t unlove a daughter, or a son for that matter, any more than you can unlove your mom, your brother or sister, your grandparents, or your father.  They are your flesh and blood, a part of you. Your family will always be your family….you can’t send them back.

My hope for my daughter, and my son, is that they never have to experience this kind of hurt and rejection from their own children someday. I hope they choose wisely when they choose the person they will marry and start a family with, and should something go wrong (heaven forbid) and their marriage falls apart, I hope the person they once loved enough to have children with will not tell outrageous stories to wrestle control and access to their children away from them and manipulate the hearts and minds of young children too vulnerable and isolated to know what is happening to them.  I hope they will be close enough to their children that their kids will be able to distinguish self-imposed martyrdom from reality and be strong enough to stand up on their own two feet and love both parents. It’s so important on so many levels.

Father's Day 2014

The other day I got the best Father's Day present I have received in the last 6 years. My Aunt Candy sent me a letter that my daughter sent her and my Uncle Gene back in January 2003, when my daughter was just 6 years old. It's the most adorable thing ever. I love the little butterfly stickers, it's so her. I wonder if she still has the photo she mentioned in the letter.

I love and miss my kids so much. I know they love and miss me and their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins too. I hope they know all they need to do is speak up and reach out. They are practically adults now, they can do what they want. There are plenty of people around them who will help them, they just need to ask. I will always be here, waiting with open arms, an open door and an open heart.

I will talk with my own Dad a little later today. He will be coming to visit soon and staying with me for almost a month. I can't wait, it's the only time each year we get to spend time together and as I've gotten older I've really come to treasure these times. We will probably go golfing, play cards, have lots of dinner table conversation, and a big family BBQ at my house with my sister and her family and our aunts, uncles and cousins from Naples.

I will also spend part of my day thinking about all the good times I had with my kids in their first 10 & 11 years when we were all together, maybe look at some old photos and listen to Jimmy Buffet, lol. And I will celebrate the delightful young lady and young man they have become, I am so proud of them. They didn't get that way by not having a daddy their first 10 & 11 years. My daughter is getting ready to graduate high school and start college and my son is wrapping up his sophomore year of high school. They both had lots of end of school year parties, concerts, banquets and travels - I am sure they are making wonderful memories with their friends and the other half of their family. I'm also sure they know the other half of their family loves and misses them and can't wait to see them again some day.

Lastly, I want to wish a very happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there - the ones who will see or talk to their kids and grandkids today, as well as the ones who won't. My heart goes out to you, as well as to my children.

Happy 18th Birthday Baby Girl!

It's true, my little princess turns 18 on Easter Sunday this year. It's been 7 years since I last gave her a great big birthday hug and smooch. So as she approaches this exciting milestone in her life, I thought I would share with her, and all of you, some of the great memories I have of her and our good times together. We don't stop growing up just because we turn 18. In fact we grow a little faster and it seems like time starts flying by. Little by little we start to realize just how short life is and how important it is to embrace and live every moment with love in our hearts.

Of course, since I'm obviously not that great at keeping up the long writing here on the blog (my last writing was Christmas, what a slacker), it's much easier for me to share these great memories in photos. So they will all be on the Facebook page and I invite you all to stop in there and check them out (see link on the right). I will post often throughout the coming week.

Enjoy the photo trip down memory lane and have a most wonderful birthday Cecilia. I love you very much, as does the whole rest of your family that misses you too. Hugs and kisses xox

Merry Christmas 2013

Getting in the Christmas spirit! The kids gifts are wrapped and sent out, and the holiday preparation has begun. The house is decorated, looks and smells like cozy winter, and the kids stockings and ornaments are all hung waiting for Santa, ha ha. Hey, in my house, Santa still comes, you might not believe, but I do and he hasn’t failed me yet. 

I’m making pies for Christmas and managed to finally perfect a scratch pie crust recipe over Thanksgiving, thanks to my friend Steve who gave me a great tip. I got three deer this hunting season – well actually, I got two and my neighbor gave me one because he already had enough – so I made tons of jerky (which is already gone) and tried my hand at sausage, which came out great. Will be making some of that for Christmas as well. I even tried making breakfast sausage and it came out awesome (if I don’t say so myself). It’s amazing what you can do with spices, who knew.

The Christmas cards with photos have been arriving each day. My cousin Marty’s boy Evan is getting so big and super smart, and my cousin Brady’s kids are so cute and a ton of fun to watch on Facebook. They live in DC and got a bunch of snow a few weeks ago, so they got a nice taste of winter and made their share of snowmen and forts. My friend who had a little girl and named her Cecilia (same as my daughter) is getting big too and even has the same big blue eyes as my baby girl. Just love watching all these kids grow, including my own. Life is good.

Excited to talk to my nieces in a few days. My oldest niece Sydney graduated high school and started college this year, can’t wait to hear how her first semester was. Rachel has been doing great in school and traveling all over playing soccer. She should be ready for volleyball soon, I’ll get an update in a few days. My god-daughter Abby has completed basic training in the Army National Guard Reserves and is living down south, not sure if I’ll get to see her for the holidays. Her sister Katie is busy with school and working at Savoia Bakery preparing to be a pastry chef in college.

My parents are hangin’ in and enjoying their retirement. Dad is feeling pretty good despite going in for a routine stress test and ending up with two heart stent surgeries. He’s feeling much better now that he’s had them done though. He and my step mom have been busy with some charity work they do for the Ocala Forest Children nearby their home in The Villages. I think my dad works a lot in retirement, but it’s a good kind of work and he certainly seems to be enjoying himself. My mom is doing good too. She didn’t stay here long this summer because she and my step dad bought a new house, literally right across the street from their old one, right before they left in the spring, so she was late getting here and left early to take care of things down in Florida. One of these years I’ll have to spend the holidays in Florida so I can see them both for Christmas.

I’ll spend New Year’s with friends nearby as I have for the last few years. They are friends that I snowmobile with and there is a whole mess of kids in the group. I think I mentioned last year that they put on a “New Year’s Spectacular” right after the ball drops that is so great – singing and dancing and performing. Love it. Speaking of ball dropping, wonder if my daughter knows about the Time Square Countdown app for her phone. It’s pretty cool. You can keep track of the count down in NYC and even get live streaming video. My daughter is crazy about NYC, pretty sure she’ll live there someday when she gets a job on Broadway. Who knows, maybe both my kids will be there - my daughter on Broadway and my son playing for the NY Giants ;)

I’m sure my kids will be busy through the holidays as well, despite the two weeks off of school, between play rehearsals and wrestling tournaments and family time with their mom’s family they will be plenty busy. Wishing them, and their friends and their mom’s family, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2014. They too have a whole bunch of younger kids around to make the holidays extra fun. Love and miss ya both very much and would love to see you….just call or email, I’m here for you, always will be, with open arms and an open heart. xox

Funny How Genetics Works, huh

I'm sure I've said it once or twice before on here, and the JeffsKids.com Facebook page, and the JeffsKidsDotCom Twitter page....that my kids both look exactly like me, there is no mistaking the fact they are my kids. My daughter looks like me now - the shape of her face, her eyes, her smile, some of her mannerisms, and definitely her sense of humor (ok, so that last one is not appearance related, but it is genetic). And my son looks like me at his age - his hair and hair line, ears, eye and face structure, his nose and lips, when he smiles, and of course his book smarts (same disclaimer as above), all of which is becoming more and more evident as he gets older. What really struck me was this old photo I found of me in college. I looked right at it and said "whoa, there's Patrick." Those of you reading who know him, and me, can probably guess where I am in this photo. Good thing I wasn't sporting a 'stache yet at that point, lol. Science is a wonderful thing :)

Fall - Summer Catch-up

What happened to summer? One minute my kids are wrapping up the school year and getting ready for chillin' and summer camps, and the next minute they are right back in for another full year of games, meets, reports, projects, concerts and theatre performances. Wish I could have spent some time with them over the summer, there were so many fun times they would have enjoyed....maybe next year.

The early summer brought an early start to the garden this year. I planted all the usuals - corn, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, squash, onions, garlic - and had a great design layed out, but an early frost and waaaaaay too much rain kinda ruined it. Well, that and the second year in a row of deer over-population. I think they thought I was growing a food plot for THEM! Will have to do my best to counter that this bow season, ha ha. Starting to get a little bit of veggies now. The corn half survived and what I did get was fantastic, so that's good. Not sure I'll have enough tomatoes for a pot of sauce, but the tomato-cuke salads with fresh basil so far have been amazing.

My dad and step mom came for a visit and stayed with me for a few weeks, in the kids' bedrooms. They keep pretty busy when they are here - visiting friends and my step brothers - but we had plenty of fun dinners on the deck and the usual (what's become an annual) family BBQ with my aunts, uncles and cousins from Naples. All the kids are getting so big. Austin is playing soccer, Evan is smart as a whip and really knows his hunting and outdoor stuff. Even Cassidy is getting quite the little personality on her. Aunt Candy retired this year, so her and Uncle Gene are whooping it up with friends and making plans for where they might go next, maybe Florida with my dad. They've been talking about that for years.

While my dad was here, my daughter had a theatre performance, so my dad and step-mom went to see her. They were thrilled. They didn't get to actually talk to her or anything, but they said she looked like she was having the time of her life, definitely in her element. At one point in the show, my daughter was dancing in the aisles among the audience and stopped right in front of my dad. He could hear her sing loud and clear and was absolutely beaming when he got home - chattering on like a teenager himself. I'm so happy they had a chance to see her while they were here. They try to call my kids to make arrangements to see them while they are here, but their calls go unanswered and unreturned, so they too miss out on seeing them. Also very cool was my dad ran into the guy who was making and selling videos of the performance and he ordered a few of them, one for me. So I will get to see her too, as soon as the video arrives, can't wait!

My sister, brother-in-law and nieces also came in for a few weeks, right before my dad came so their visits didn't overlap enough for all of us to be together at once, which was kind of a bummer. Things change as kids get older, their schedules and activities change the way families spend time together, especially when everyone lives in different cities. This year my sister's visit was so short we didn't even go to Ohio to see my grandmother like we usually do. I will have to capture my mother one of these weekends and take a ride out there. Gramma is 93 this year, every year counts! My niece Rachel was in a regional soccer tournament in Thunder Bay (google it, it's far) during the beginning of the trip, so she only got to spend a few days here, but at least we all got to see her. Spent some time with my niece Sydney who is going off to college this year, well, not exactly going off....she will live at home, but she's got a lot of hard work ahead of her, on top of a little job to help pay for it. Can't wait to hear how her first year goes! After my dad's visit here, he went up to Nova Scotia for 10 days to spend time with my sister and nieces, so they did get to see him afterall.

Also earlier this summer, a friend of mine had her first baby and named her Cecilia, they even spelled it the same....I was so stinkin' excited you would have thought "I" was having a baby, lol. She's the cutest thing, tons of curly brown hair, and will hang out and "talk" with just about anyone...not unlike my Cecilia. Yes, she too will be keeping her Aunts on the phone for hours at age 5, I'm sure of it. Sadly, my friend's husband got a new job in Florida and they just moved a few weeks ago, so I won't get to see Cecilia as much, but the pictures and stories on Facebook make my day.

Like many people in Rochester, I got to spend some time at the PGA Championship while it was here in town. I hope my son went. I would have loved to take him, but perhaps his Papa or Uncles took him instead. A rep from one of the companies I work with gave me two grounds passes to the 2nd round. So instead of my son, I took a friend of mine who works across the street from me. We had a blast. Spent nearly the whole day there and got to see a lot of players. We're so lucky to have such a huge event come to Rochester every 10 years or so. I went to the last one too. Maybe by the time the next one comes around my son will want to go with me. I sure hope so, it was a ton of fun and my son used to like golf, hope he still does because....

My son turned 16 a few days ago and many of the gifts I sent him were golf related. I know he mostly plays football now, and lacrosse and wrestling, but hopefully he still enjoys golf and gets out once in a while with his friends or his mom's family. If not, maybe some of the certificates will entice him to get back out there and give it another try. He's kinda an all-around sports guy, so perhaps. When he was younger, he was on a golf league with his friend Jason and Tyler-  they loved it. We used to take them out to Latta Lee to golf. Not too far from where he lives now. Like a lot of kids, baseball and football sorta takes over because that's what is most popular. Golf is something that your family needs to be into, we used to go quite a bit. I know his Papa works at a country club nearby and his uncles still go quite a bit, so maybe he still gets out. For his birthday I sent him a little souvenir from the PGA - to remind him that we have a father-son date for the next time, and a gift certificate to Dick's so he can get something he needs for football or sneakers or something. I'm sure he needs stuff every time you turn around. I sure wish he would call and ask me to help. I would call him, but that's kind of hard when your phone is blocked. He'll just need to find a way to call me. I'll be waiting, for as long as it takes, call any time.

In the mean time, here comes another year of fun. First football game was yesterday. Sure he played great. Hope he's still getting a shot at quarterback. Chorus and the school play are my daughter's thing and the play runs in November, so this is her busy time for that. Homecoming will be here shortly and my kids always seem to enjoy that too....the parades, pep rallies, bonfire and games. Have a great time kids and enjoy these years while they are here. My daughter is a senior this year, so I'm sure this year is extra special for her. After that, who knows. Sure hope she's making plans to pursue her talents, there are a lot of good performance schools around here and she certainly knows enough people in them to teach her the ropes. Love and miss ya both, very much. Keep an eye on Facebook and Twitter for the quick updates and snarky comments, ha ha....and I'll post another longer update as events warrant. Love ya!

Happy 16th Birthday Son!

Could it be? My son is 16 already? I'm so proud of the fine young man he's becoming....all the sports he plays, his good grades and nice friends he has in and out of school, and how I'm sure he helps his mom with all the man stuff around the house (I hope!). No doubt he's running out right away to get his driving permit...what 16 year-old boy doesn't do that on his birthday?!? Sure he's itching to get behind the wheel and go places with his friends. What an exciting time. Any time you'd like to go out driving, son, just give me a call. Happy to take you any time. Birthday gifts are on the way, will wait til I'm sure he got them before talking about them on here. Enjoy your day my son ~ love and miss you very much ~ always your Dad <3

Father's Day

I celebrate Father's Day with the same joy I have for the last 17 years ~ because I know in my heart that my children love and miss me as much as I love and miss them. I hear their silent prayers and pray for them in return. Hang in there kids, keep love in your heart and we'll be together again when the time is right. Enjoy your Father's Day with your Papa and uncles, I'll be thinking of you both!

This year, I will share Father's Day with my beautiful goddaughter Abby. Abby just graduated with National Honors from high school and will have a graduation party all day at a park on the lake. In a few weeks Abby will leave for boot camp, that's right boot camp! She has joined the Army Reserves and will serve our country for eight years. In return she will receive a ton of help paying for college, which she is going to need because she wants to go to med school to become a clinical child psychiatrist with her own practice. I'm so proud of her and thrilled to share in her special day with her.

Also this year, I share Father's Day with my beautiful niece Sydney who's 18th birthday is today and is also preparing to go off to college. She is headed for Dalhousie University in the fall with an academic scholarship - go Syd!. Hugely proud of her and know she's going to be all she wants to be - she's got the brains, the talent, and gosh darn it - people like her :). Can't wait to see her and her sister this summer when they come to visit.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to all the other Dad's out there reading my blog who also won't get to see or talk to their children on Father's Day (or any other day of the year for that matter). It hurts, but know they love you and keep the faith. If you need someone to talk to...you know how to find me.

Be sure to check out the great photo collage on my facebook page.

Fourwheeling Fun

Spent a great day outside clearing paths in the woods near my house where the guys in the neighborhood and I hunt for deer.  One of my neighbors and I took a big field mower and a chainsaw out back and cleaned up last year’s trails and made a few new ones. Saw a ton of tracks and rubbings and even a few turkeys and a bunch of young deer running through the new corn fields. Another couple months or so and we won’t even be able to see them through the high corn. Checked on our tree stands and made sure they were still intact, and after all that hard work and a nice sunset dinner on the back deck, we went for a long ride on the fourwheelers and just enjoyed the scenery.

The trails go way out through what used to be swamps until we figured out where the beaver dams were and asked the town to clean them out. Now they are nice open grass fields with big old trees, lots of bedding shrubs and a creek running through it. The trails twist and turn all through the field trees and then go up the hill around the farmer’s fields and down through the ravine between the fields and a huge bog on the other side of the hill. Despite all the rain lately it wasn't all that muddy, even in the thicker parts of the woods and the bottom of the hill near the bog.

My kids would love the trails, they would be out there every day either walking or on the fourwheelers with the other neighborhood teens. My daughter loves to hike in the woods and my son has been driving wheelers since he was small. Plus they would love the views from the top of the hill. It feels like you can see forever. Great start to the long holiday weekend….hope you are enjoying yours too....here comes summer!

In other news, my daughter just went to her junior prom...yep, junior prom, where does the time go? My princess is growing up so fast, next thing you know she'll be off at college and exploring the world. She's also got auditions for next year's musical coming up in a week and her music banquet the week after that, then final exams and then, finally, summer for her. Busy couple of weeks. Glad to help in any way I can...rides, driving lessons, study help, checking out colleges...you know how to find me baby girl, just ask and I'll be there.

My son is on his way to academic stardom. His grades are phenomenal and he will once again receive an award this year at awards night. He is super smart, just like his Grampa Chapman, and school has always come easy for him, but still I don't know how he does it. In addition to good grades, he plays sports all year round...and really intense sports too. This year he played football and was quarterback, then he jumped into wrestling, and from there he switched to lacrosse. So he does all that and still keeps his grades up. I am so proud of him! I'll be thinking of you son as you accept your award next week and go to your sports banquet the week after that. Good luck on your finals and have a great summer. Would love to take you out for some golf, or shooting, or fourwheeling this summer...oh wait, you're going to be 16 soon, we can go out driving...that would be fun...call me anytime!

Love and miss you both very much. Hope to see or talk to you soon.

Happy 17th Birthday Baby Girl

Can you believe it, she's 17 already?!? Hope my daughter is having the time of her life, as she always does, traveling with her school chorus friends on her birthday. I'm sure they will do something nice for her to make her birthday special. Every day my daughter gets smarter and more beautiful. I'm so proud of the wonderful young woman she is becoming. She's doing well in school, keeps very busy with singing and acting, and has lots of really nice friends to surround her with love and friendship. I sent her a package of gifts that I hope she gets when she returns. It arrived the day she left so she hasn't opened them yet, so I can't tell you about them yet. I'll do that in a few days after she's had a chance to see them first...wouldn't want to spoil her surprises ;) In the meantime, sending love and hugs your way baby girl ~ love and miss you very, very much! Can't wait to hug and see you soon!

UPDATE: So I'm pretty sure my daughter has opened her gifts by now, so it's safe to talk about them now. Plus she's had a lot going on - SAT's last weekend, Junior Prom in two weeks, and of course lots of school work catch up after being out of school for two days traveling with the chorus and then several days of in-school music activities right afterwards....poor girl is probably spending every waking moment catching up! Gotta keep up those good grades from the rest of the year, would be a shame to let it all go downhill now. Junior year is so important!

This year there are a bunch of new books out that my daughter would just love, she's an avid reader, always has been, would pour thorough books in mere days, even hours, but I obviously have no idea which books she has already and which ones she needs, so I thought an Amazon gift card would be a good bet. That way she can get whichever books she wants, or something else if she wants. Also sent her a panda bookmark from Chinatown in NYC that she can use in her new books. And what birthday present would be complete without a few cute purse things, she was always into that kind of girlie stuff. One was a purple patent leather alligator imprint mini-wallet and the other a hot pink velvet makeup bag with hand lotion and nail stuff. To go with her nail stuff, I found these tat-toes - no that's not a misspelling - they are tattoos for your toes. They were a really cute pink flowery print that is just sooo my daughter. A friend of mine also told me about an interesting video called MisRepresentation. It talks about the media's obsession with focusing girls on beauty instead of brains. It has interviews with teenage girls as well as Condolezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Gloria Steinem, Katie Couric and other smart women. I hope it's good. I didn't watch it myself, so I could send her the unopened package, but I'm pretty confident in the person who recommended it. My daughter also likes to write stories, so I sent her another monogrammed journal and a fancy pen that she would like. And for her love of NYC and drama, a key chain from Broadway. Lastly, and probably the simplest but most fun, was a package of glow bracelets. Hope she saves them for her camping trips this summer with her friends. They would be perfect around the camp fire!

As for me, I'm plugging along with spring clean up around the office and the house. Have gardens in both places, so it's a bit of work every spring, but I do enjoy it. Love seeing the results of a neat clean yard, nice flowers and a lots of delicious organic vegetables. Just about finished with the clean up, still have some mulching to do but I think I'm ahead of the game this year thanks to the good weather. Need to stop by the town DPW for the free mulch...I'll take free any day. All the vegetables are already in the garden, hoping for an early corn crop again this year. Wishing everyone a happy spring, and my kids a good final push to the school year....keep those grades up and let me know if you'd like to visit some colleges this summer....be happy to take you around to see a few! Love and miss you both, and the other half of your family sends their love, hugs and kisses!

Well Happy New Year!

I know, I know, we're half way through January already and I'm just getting to the Happy New Year post. It was a crazy busy holiday this year, probably the busiest I've had in years, and it was great! Had stay-over company for nearly two weeks, did a lot of nearby traveling and visited with many of my friends and family in town. New Year's Eve was a lot of fun at a friend's house ~ all the younger children put on a special New Year's "Spectacular" Performance just after midnight, it was the cutest, funniest thing, reminded me so much of my kids. Perfect way to ring in the new year.

As promised on my Christmas post, here are the pics of the kids' Christmas gifts.

Now you know why it was hard to put up a photo ahead of time. It's pretty hard to disguise an acoustic guitar for my musical daughter and the family starter shotgun for my sports enthusiast son. You should have seen the size of the box I had to use to ship them both in together. Good thing my neighbor bought a really big deck box in the fall and had it shipped to his house...yep, recycling is a good thing, saves money. And yep, I had their gifts picked out and ready to go by the summer. I'm getting pretty good at planning ahead. You should have seen the look on the postal worker's face when I walked in to the post office to mail it. He laughed at why I would mail such a thing just a few miles away across town. We both got a good chuckle when I explained to him why. Seems everybody knows somebody who has gone through an ugly angry divorce, alas I'm never alone. I sure hope my kids enjoy their gifts. Would love to hear my daughter play something someday, and would love to take my son out for his first hunt. I'm sure they both know I'm just a phone call away.

And now it's mid-winter break time for my kids. Hope they have power at their house, with all this wind. Mine went out for a few hours this morning, but it's back on now. Both my kids are kicking butt in school this year. I'm so happy to see this, especially for my daughter. She really struggled the last few years, in some classes just barely passing at the end, but this year she actually has a 99 in trig going into mid-terms. I knew she could do it, just needed to buckle down and focus. Grades this year are super important to having choices with what you want to do in life after high school. Always best to have more choices than to limit yourself. My son, of course has always done well and continues to. I know he'll have lots of choices. I wonder what he's interested in after high school. He may not have even thought about it yet, he's just a freshman and really into sports, so I'm sure life after high school probably isn't even on his mind. Wishing them both the best of luck on mid-terms and regents. They've got a full week of exams ahead....study, rest and eat good! I'll know in a few weeks how they did.

In the mean time, think snow and enjoy the winter break! Too bad our Giants aren't in it this year, but I'm rooting for Baltimore. Who do you like? Love and miss ya both very much!

It's almost Christmastime!

I can tell because the house smells sooo good right now. Depending on where you walk, you can smell the fresh-cut Christmas pine tree, or the pot of homemade pasta sauce on the stove, filled with venison meatballs, or the freshly baked cookies ready to be wrapped up as gifts for the people I'll see over the next few days of Christmas, or the cinnamon or baked apple or cookie-scented candles burning in every room of the house. I love this time of year! The snowfall yesterday was a huge bonus, hope it lasts long enough to have a white Christmas.

Talked to my dad the other day, he sounds good, sent me a great picture of him and my stepmother taken at a Christmas party they went to with friends. Makes me so happy to see him smiling. His knee surgeries are on their way to healing and he'll be golfing before ya know it. Talked to my mom and sis, aunts, uncles and cousins from Naples recently too. Everyone is in good spirits, preparing for Christmas and sending much love and hugs to my kids ~ passing it along ~ muahs ~ everybody loves and misses you both, can't wait to see you again.

Did something a little different for my kids Christmas presents this year, hope they like them. Instead of a bunch of small things, they each got one thing bigger and more exciting. It was really hard to wrap them and even harder to try to disguise them so they can't guess (and even harder to package them to mail them). So I wrote on the outside of the shipping box to open on it on Christmas, because once they see the inside of the box they're going to guess pretty quick. Wish I could see their smiling happy faces :) They won't be able to help but smile. I'll post a pic of the presents here after Christmas to see if any of you can guess what they are.

In the mean time, keep dreaming those happy dreams and keep love in your heart, it's the only way. Know that as much as you love and miss me, I love and miss you that much more. We'll be together again when the time is right, hang in there ~ love always wins!

Happy Turkey Day!!

Wishing my kids a very happy Thanksgiving! Preparations are already underway here, as I'm sure they are at their home with their mom too. Made the homemade corn bread and wheat bread for the apple raisin stuffing last night, it's laying all over the house drying and making crumbs, lol. Got the pumpkin all cooked and pureed and ready to make a pie, although I did skip the homemade crust, I'm not nearly as good at that as my dad is, he can whip up a crust like it's nothing...I apparently didn't get that gene.

This year, I decided to smoke the turkey, with a molasses glaze that my Uncle mentioned to me the other day while I was in Naples hunting with all the cousins, so it's in a bag full of molasses & thyme and being massaged every few hours, lucky turkey, ha ha. I also got a beautiful 8-point buck on that hunting trip, so I'll be grilling up a few venison tenderloins as well. On opening day of gun season, I made the traditional trek to Naples to hunt for the weekend with all my uncles and cousins, we had a great time. My favorite Aunt made us her famously huge lunch and most of us took home a deer and tons of prizes from the raffle in town on Friday night. It was a spectacular weekend weather-wise too...there have been times when it was snowing or raining or just plain miserable, but this year was picture perfect....crisp, frosty, sunny mornings and mildly cool afternoons. I talked to my dad on the phone a few times while we were all down there. I could tell he was missing being there now that they sold the cabin and moved to Florida full time.

As much fun as I had, Naples just isn't the same any more now that my dad has moved. I remember how much my kids loved his cabin. We would take them there all the time. We would pull up and the kids would be out of the car before we could park...off running into the woods and down to the creek to find whatever creatures they could capture and bring to us, usually a frog. They loved exploring the woods, riding four-wheelers, and having campfires. It's just not like that anymore without the cabin. I walked up there a few times to check it out and walk the property. Sadly it sits empty, the family that bought it got transferred and hasn't sold it yet, so it sits unused. It's so sad, it's such a wonderful place that really needs a bunch of kids to enjoy it. Lots of great memories there though. Actually, I got my deer right there on dad's old property, in a spot I've always sat on opening day for close to 30 years now. The deer still live there, lol. Maybe someday I'll be able to bring my son up there again and he can enjoy hunting with all of us on opening day. He would love it, so awesome to be surrounded by family and enjoy the outdoors.

Ah, but we're on to new memories and I'm sure my kids are too...enjoying their holiday with their mother's half of their family, which was always fun, lots of new cousins on that side too, so I'm sure there will be lots of new great memories to be had. Sure wish my kids could enjoy the wholeness of spending time with all their family at the holidays, but perhaps someday. I'll be thinking of them and their quirky turkey habits, I'm sure those haven't changed much. I'll say a prayer for them and wait for them to come around, with love in my heart and my arms wide open for a great big turkey hug. Have a blessed holiday everyone and thanks for all the notes, outreach and good wishes...keep 'em coming!

Happy birthday to me

Had a wonderful birthday today, filled with lots of wishes from friends and family, people calling, texting, facebooking and stopping by my office to say hello. But there are two very special wishes that I really wish I had, and those are birthday wishes from my kids. Miss their great birthday hugs and smiling faces. Hope they thought of me today. Love and miss them very much.

October 2012 - Fall Catch-up

It's been a while since I've posted, and while I'm just relaxing (rare) on a Sunday afternoon, watching the Giants stomp all over the 49ers and the Bills pull off a miracle....thought I'd catch the blog up to date.

So proud of my son and his first year on the high school football team. Sure he's having the time of his life and becoming a better player every game. He's very smart with the game, and quick too. He's probably too busy with football (his practice schedule is just nuts) to notice that hunting season has started. Been out a few times in the tree stand behind my house with the bow but haven't had a shot yet. My son would love being out there, it's so peaceful to see the sun rise on a crisp fall morning. The teenage boy next door (same age as my son) has been out too and seen a few deer but not had a shot yet either. Hopefully between us we'll get a couple deer this year. We have a neighbors "game dinner" each winter with a little bit of everyone's catch for the season - fish, venison, turkey. My garden was super productive this year too, so I've got lots of vegetables in the freezer we can cook up, would make a fine hunter's stew.

Nice to see both my kids enjoying high school together - football games, pep rallys, and homecoming fun. My daughter is once again in the school play and singing and dancing her little heart out. Love to see her having so much fun and using her talents. Very proud of both my kids. And nice to see them both doing well in school so far this year. Hope they are taking advantage of all the opportunities to meet and talk to colleges that come to the school. They both have such bright futures ahead of them.

Things have settled down since all the family activities this summer. Nonnie is getting ready to head back to Florida, had lunch with her and Aunt Grace the other day. Little balls of energy those two. They send their love, hugs and many many kisses...I'm sure you can imagine. Grampa just had his knee replaced and is doing just fine. He's going to be a bionic man soon - two hips, a knee...what's next? He can still out-golf me. Uncle Gene is feeling pretty good too after his pace maker was put in. I'll see him this week for some planning and maybe a little golf. So long as the visit includes some of my Aunt Candy's cooking...hint hint. The Nova Scotia cousins are busy with soccer, volleyball, part time jobs and looking at colleges. Grampa visited them again late this summer and had a great time spoiling his granddaughters. Sure he made them all kinds of yummy goodies just like he did when he visited me earlier this summer. My dad is a really good cook, definitely where I got it from.

Guess that's all that's been going on, just felt like I hadn't written in a while. Been making shorter comments and stuff on the Facebook and Twitter pages, so be sure to check there too. Sometimes those are easier that sitting down to write. As it is, this took all afternoon between games, movies and stuff around the house. In fact, the first sentence here is now history in the books, but I think I'll just leave it. Have a great night, finish your homework, love and miss you both very much!

Happy 15th Birthday Son!

Wishing my son a very happy 15th birthday, hope he enjoyed his day despite having to get up bright and early for freshman orientation. It seems there is something with the school going on almost every year on his birthday. At least this way he got to see all his friends, which always makes a birthday that much more fun.

I can't believe he's a freshman in high school already, he's growing up so fast! I remember holding him as a baby, and when he first started walking and talking, and his first day of school, like it was just yesterday. His school photos came the other day and he is looking so mature and handsome....and more and more like me at his age. It's so cool how both my kids look just like me - my son looks like me at his age and my daughter looks like me now. Guess that's genetics for ya :)

I'm so proud of what a bright and talented young man he is becoming. He gets great grades, always on the honor or high honor roll, just like me. That will be a big help in getting college scholarships in a few years. I wonder what he's interested in studying, or if he's even given it any thought. At his age I don't think I had any idea. It took a few more years. But the grades are very important if you want to have choices, not only in school, but in life too....so keep it up son, you're doing great! He looks strong, like he works out. I'm sure football keeps him in shape and hopefully he is doing some other physical activity in the off season, maybe wrestling or something. I'm sure he's well into football practice for the upcoming season and playing freshman ball at the school. Would love to catch a game, all I need is an invitation...hint hint.

Eventhough I haven't talked to my son in over 4 years now, I of course still love him so very much (and always will), think about him each and every day (can't help it, his pictures are all over my office and house) and remember what it was like to be his age without a relationship with my dad. I understand what he is going through, although I'm sure he doesn't think I do. No kid thinks their parents understand or know anything :) I wish he wanted me around and in his life. Maybe he does but he just can't say it or show it. All he has to do is speak up, tell a trusted adult, call me and talk, invite me to a game, take me up on my offer to take him to lunch or golfing, or hunting....no pressure, no questions if he doesn't want to go there, he can even bring a friend if he wants. It's up to him, I hope he knows that. There is nothing preventing him from making the next move, except the fog of course.

On a lighter note, I saw my aunts, uncles and cousins in Naples yesterday. We all got together and had a boys day of golf at the course down there where my uncle and cousin work. It was so much fun and I remember being there with my son many years ago. In fact, my aunt dug up a note my son sent her after spending the night at her house back in 2005 and brought it to the party. It made me laugh, his little boy handwriting. He and my daughter always had such a good time there with all the cousins, playing in the creek and riding four wheelers, and being doted on by my aunt & uncle. I thought I'd share the note here so you all can enjoy it too. The Naples crew sends their love and birthday wishes.

I would also like to thank all my family and friends who helped make my son's birthday special for me too today. So many wonderful people called with their love, support and encouragement. It's a reminder of just how fortunate I really am to be surrounded by such loving, special people who truly care about me and my kids. It's too bad my kids are missing out on these kinds of positive, affirming relationships in their life. I know from experience that their world is not like that. My neighbors also stopped over with their sons, both my son's age and we did a little shooting in the backyard this afternoon. Hunting season is coming up and we're all gearing up and helping the boys practice with their bows. I can't wait to get out and spend some time in the woods near my house. Maybe someday my son will want to come along. I know they would all get along great. The older one is a lot like my son, very into his sports (lacrosse) and a good student.

Hope he received and enjoyed his gifts this year. It gets harder and harder not knowing what he's into and what specifically he likes. There are a couple good movies out, the Dark Knight movie and the Bourne Legacy look good, so I thought he'd enjoy passes to go with a friend (since he won't let me take him...ha ha). I also got him team necklaces for the Mets and the Giants. Have you seen those colored rope necklaces all the baseball players are wearing this year? Those. They look pretty cool. I hope he'll wear them. Sent him a couple nice shirts for school and a football movie that we watched together years ago. If you've never seen Facing the Giants you have to see it, it's a great movie. We both love football movies and that's one you can watch with your kids and feel good about it.

Enjoy the rest of your birthday son ~ I love and miss you very much and will always always be here for you. I will never, ever, give up on us. My door will always be open, stop by or call any time. Love you Bucko...and no, you're not too old for that! :)

Where did July go?

Wow, summer is flying by. July was a whirlwind of visits and family time. My dad and step mom started the month with an 8-day visit from Florida in early July. They stayed with me at my house, in the extra bedrooms I have saved for my kids someday. We stayed up late over chatty dinners, had good times over lazy morning breakfasts, and had a big family BBQ on the weekend. My dad even made me some very yummy zucchini muffins. He's a really good cook, must be where I get it from. My niece from Nova Scotia came in a few weeks before the rest of my sister's family so she got to come to the BBQ and visit with her grandparents. Afterwards we all played cards and my niece and step mom kicked my butt.

My niece has grown so much over the last year. She's become more outspoken and outgoing and a little less shy and reserved. She has a few little jobs to help save up money for college, plays soccer and still loves her horses. She's also become quite the photographer, capturing some really great people and scenery shots from her family travels over the last year. And she now has her driver's license and my dad even let her drive up the street to the store. He says she's a good driver. On top of all that, she's super smart, loves science class, and is looking more and more like my pretty sister every day. I'm so proud of her and glad we got to spend some extra time with her.

A week later my sister arrived from Nova Scotia with my other niece who had a soccer tournament that kept her busy sooner. Check her out, that's her flying through the air, the girl belongs in the Olympics. She's all of 5 foot something, not an ounce of fat on her, she packs a mean punch (believe me I know) and can kick a soccer ball or jump for a volley ball like it's nobody's business. My other niece took this photograph and you should see some of her other shots. Some serious talent between those two.

We took our annual trip to see Gramma in Ohio. Gramma is 92 and thinks she's 72. Still getting around just fine despite a nasty fall this spring where she broke her leg. She's got pins and rods and is practically bionic now, or at least she thinks she is. Still sharp as a tack, remembers the last thing we talked about a year ago and asked after my kids like she saw them just yesterday. I filled her in on their grades and activities, she sends her love. We hung out there for two days, watched a lot of Olympics, including the very bizarre opening ceremony, cycling, volleyball, track and swimming. Gotta admire the level of training and hard work those athletes put in.

Didn't get to see the cousins from Kentucky this time, but did see the cousins from nearby in Ohio and spend some time catching up with everyone. The kids are all getting taller and smarter and send hugs to my kids. Gramma still has her doggie friends, one of them, the bigger one, helped save her life when she fell this spring. The other is another stray that keeps hanging around and Gramma keeps feeding. Here's another great shot my niece took of the pups. Sure wish I could take them home with me, but I think Gramma needs them more than I do. There are a few more funny pictures from the Ohio trip posted on my facebook page.

After we got back to Rochester, my sister, brother-in-law and nieces came over for a BBQ. We picked all the veggies for dinner out of my garden, including sweet corn which was ready already, super early considering I planted in early May this year because of the mild winter. We had organic steak from the 1/4 cow I bought from a farmer in Naples. It was delightful. Afterwards we sat around the bon fire pit in my yard and told stories. Like the times at the cabin when we used to sit around the fire and throw stones in the woods so the kids would get scared and think there were things in the woods. Those stories evolved into tales of Peter Pan and bed pillow notes, it was a lot of fun!

Next thing I know, it's August and I'm a canning, freezing, garden preserving fool. The garden is in full bloom and I'm bringing veggie creations and gifts with me everywhere I go, including cottage parties on Conesus Lake with friends of mine including my god-daughter who just turned 17 yesterday. Holy cow, these kids are getting old, ha ha. I call her, and her sister, my nieces because our families are very close. My god-daughter is in the National Junior Honor Society and just came back from a week at a private and exclusive med-school camp in Boston and has returned a very different girl. Quite a bit more mature and looking forward to the next phases of her life in college and beyond. She has such a bright future ahead of her and I'm really excited for her. Her sister is no slouch either, a talented clarinet player who has been playing at Hochstein. Hard to fathom that I'm surrounded by such talented and gifted nieces with a world of possibilities ahead of them.

And now it's mid August, football season is approaching and I'm thinking about my son who will turn 15 later this month. He's such a smart boy, on the high honor roll and taking good care of himself, mind and body. You should see him, looks like he works out, he's got strong broad shoulders and biceps and calves that I envy. Ah, such is youth. I have to work so hard for mine, he probably does it effortlessly.

Here's a photo of the last birthday party that he and I shared together. It was a really special day that I will always remember. I hope he has a great birthday this year with his mom and her family and probably a few friends as well. I would love to take him out for lunch or a movie or golfing or anything really, for his birthday. We could have a nice little BBQ and bon fire and invite his family and friends he hasn't seen in almost 5 years now. It would be a lot of fun. All you have to do is call son, and I'll be there to make it happen. In the mean time, enjoy the rest of your summer and get yourself ready for the best football season ever. Would love to see him play, he's really good....fast, knows the game in his sleep, and most importantly he's a Giants fan just like me! Season opener coming up...Giants and Cowboys, let's watch it together son!

Father's Day 2012

I hear my childrens’ silent prayers. I feel their love, their tears, and their fears, and know they miss me and wish we could see each other and spend time together again. I wish there was more I could do to help them…to help them be true to themselves, to show them how to have the love and joy of spending time with ALL of their family, both halves, not just one half versus the other. It is easily possible, if they want it to be, but I’m sure they are not getting that encouragement or guidance from anyone allowed in their lives. It’s so sad how carefully crafted and controlled their lives are.

I know my children are hurting -- growing teens without the guidance, love and support of their father. I am and will always be here for you -- always. Loving parents never give up, walk away, push away, guilt or refuse their children. I will always be your dad, and always be here, waiting, with open arms and an open heart. All you have to do is call or stop by. In the mean time, have a wonderful Father’s Day, I’ll be thinking about you and sending love and hugs!

Be sure to check out the nice photo collage on my Facebook Page