I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Monday, April 25, 2011

April 2011

Happy April Fools! Wishing my kids of fun day of jokes and pranks with their friends at school. My son is the King of pranks, we were always goofing around with each other. Bet he and his friends had quite a few laughs today.

It was a busy day, between April Fools, the Met's opening day (bummed they lost), and surgery for me to repair a shoulder injury from my snowmobile accident last year. It was the first time I had actually been "put under" and I have to admit, I was a little nervous. I was afraid I might not wake up - crazy thoughts like that run through your head. Thoughts of going in for a simple procedure and then never seeing my family again ~ my mom, my dad, my sister, step brothers and brother-in-law, nieces and friends, and most importantly my kids. It was the same feeling I had holding my daughter's hand as she was put under for surgery when she was 3 or 4 and the family dog bit her face. Probably the same feeling their mother had when my son was put under for his appendix surgery last summer. All needless worry, but we still do. I think once you become a parent, the worry about your kids, in every situation you experience, just never goes away. The surgery went fine, actually very well and I'm back up and doing my thing, just a little slower for a few weeks.

Saw my former sister-in-law with her two very cute twin babies at the doctor's today. I got a clean bill of health, stitches out, sling removed and ready to hit the gym! Good day.

April 20 ~

Happy birthday to my beautiful baby girl ~ today is my daughter's 15th birthday, the 4th one I've missed :`( . I hope she has a wonderful day, filled with family, friends, fun and all her favorite things.
She doesn't have school this week because of spring break, so hopefully she can do something really fun, like have a sleepover or go out with her girlfriends ~ she has tons of friends, everybody loves her, including me of course, and all of our family that misses her, and her brother, so very much. I sent her a package of special gifts that I picked out for her on a recent trip to NYC. She loves to act and sing, so I thought she'd like some gifts from Broadway ~ just to remind her that the sky is the limit and she can be anything she wants to be, do anything she sets her mind to, and soar to great heights if she works hard and really wants it. I know she wants it, and more importantly ~ I know she can do it! She's very talented and has the charm and personality to match. So have yourself a fantastic day sweetie ~ I love and miss you very very much and will always be here for you, any time you need me, no questions asked. <3



Happy Easter ~

Wishing my kids a very happy Easter. I'm sure they will spend a nice day and share a wonderful meal with their mom and her family.

They are probably just a little too grown up now for an Easter egg hunt like they used to do at their grandparent's house, but I remember those times ~ they were just too cute. Pretty soon, their new little cousins will take over that event!

I sent them a "basket" package filled with Italian Easter Eggs, chocolate covered peeps (purple ones for my daughter), eggs filled with candy and dollar bills (who doesn't love a little cash), and a few more gifts from my recent trip to NYC.
My daughter got a Broadway umbrella to match the tote I sent her for her birthday, and a pink frilly scarf similar to the blue one I sent her for her birthday. My son got a very cool NYCPD hat that I had personally autographed by a NYC police officer for him. What a chuckle that guy got out of being asked to sign a hat. I also found a neat police car USB drive at the tradeshow I went to in January. When you plug it in the lights flash. I thought it was pretty cool. Maybe he can use it for school work or something.

I'll be enjoying the day with family and friends for a nice dinner and some baseball/golf watching ~ and extend an open invitation to my kids to stop by after their dinner with their mom. My door, table and heart is always open ~ love and miss you both!

April 25 ~


Today is Bubbles of Love Day! Did you blow bubbles at noon?
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