I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day

I celebrate Father's Day with the same joy I have for the last 17 years ~ because I know in my heart that my children love and miss me as much as I love and miss them. I hear their silent prayers and pray for them in return. Hang in there kids, keep love in your heart and we'll be together again when the time is right. Enjoy your Father's Day with your Papa and uncles, I'll be thinking of you both!

This year, I will share Father's Day with my beautiful goddaughter Abby. Abby just graduated with National Honors from high school and will have a graduation party all day at a park on the lake. In a few weeks Abby will leave for boot camp, that's right boot camp! She has joined the Army Reserves and will serve our country for eight years. In return she will receive a ton of help paying for college, which she is going to need because she wants to go to med school to become a clinical child psychiatrist with her own practice. I'm so proud of her and thrilled to share in her special day with her.

 Also this year, I share Father's Day with my beautiful niece Sydney who's 18th birthday is today and is also preparing to go off to college. She is headed for Dalhousie University in the fall with an academic scholarship - go Syd!. Hugely proud of her and know she's going to be all she wants to be - she's got the brains, the talent, and gosh darn it - people like her :). Can't wait to see her and her sister this summer when they come to visit.

 And I'd be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to all the other Dad's out there reading my blog who also won't get to see or talk to their children on Father's Day (or any other day of the year for that matter). It hurts, but know they love you and keep the faith. If you need someone to talk to...you know how to find me.

 Be sure to check out the great photo collage on my facebook page.

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