I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Well Happy New Year!

I know, I know, we're half way through January already and I'm just getting to the Happy New Year post. It was a crazy busy holiday this year, probably the busiest I've had in years, and it was great! Had stay-over company for nearly two weeks, did a lot of nearby traveling and visited with many of my friends and family in town. New Year's Eve was a lot of fun at a friend's house ~ all the younger children put on a special New Year's "Spectacular" Performance just after midnight, it was the cutest, funniest thing, reminded me so much of my kids. Perfect way to ring in the new year.

As promised on my Christmas post, here are the pics of the kids' Christmas gifts.


Now you know why it was hard to put up a photo ahead of time. It's pretty hard to disguise an acoustic guitar for my musical daughter and the family starter shotgun for my sports enthusiast son. You should have seen the size of the box I had to use to ship them both in together. Good thing my neighbor bought a really big deck box in the fall and had it shipped to his house...yep, recycling is a good thing, saves money. And yep, I had their gifts picked out and ready to go by the summer. I'm getting pretty good at planning ahead. You should have seen the look on the postal worker's face when I walked in to the post office to mail it. He laughed at why I would mail such a thing just a few miles away across town. We both got a good chuckle when I explained to him why. Seems everybody knows somebody who has gone through an ugly angry divorce, alas I'm never alone. I sure hope my kids enjoy their gifts. Would love to hear my daughter play something someday, and would love to take my son out for his first hunt. I'm sure they both know I'm just a phone call away.

And now it's mid-winter break time for my kids. Hope they have power at their house, with all this wind. Mine went out for a few hours this morning, but it's back on now. Both my kids are kicking butt in school this year. I'm so happy to see this, especially for my daughter. She really struggled the last few years, in some classes just barely passing at the end, but this year she actually has a 99 in trig going into mid-terms. I knew she could do it, just needed to buckle down and focus. Grades this year are super important to having choices with what you want to do in life after high school. Always best to have more choices than to limit yourself. My son, of course has always done well and continues to. I know he'll have lots of choices. I wonder what he's interested in after high school. He may not have even thought about it yet, he's just a freshman and really into sports, so I'm sure life after high school probably isn't even on his mind. Wishing them both the best of luck on mid-terms and regents. They've got a full week of exams ahead....study, rest and eat good! I'll know in a few weeks how they did.

In the mean time, think snow and enjoy the winter break! Too bad our Giants aren't in it this year, but I'm rooting for Baltimore. Who do you like? Love and miss ya both very much!