I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Fourwheeling Fun

Spent a great day outside clearing paths in the woods near my house where the guys in the neighborhood and I hunt for deer.  One of my neighbors and I took a big field mower and a chainsaw out back and cleaned up last year’s trails and made a few new ones. Saw a ton of tracks and rubbings and even a few turkeys and a bunch of young deer running through the new corn fields. Another couple months or so and we won’t even be able to see them through the high corn. Checked on our tree stands and made sure they were still intact, and after all that hard work and a nice sunset dinner on the back deck, we went for a long ride on the fourwheelers and just enjoyed the scenery.

The trails go way out through what used to be swamps until we figured out where the beaver dams were and asked the town to clean them out. Now they are nice open grass fields with big old trees, lots of bedding shrubs and a creek running through it. The trails twist and turn all through the field trees and then go up the hill around the farmer’s fields and down through the ravine between the fields and a huge bog on the other side of the hill. Despite all the rain lately it wasn't all that muddy, even in the thicker parts of the woods and the bottom of the hill near the bog.

My kids would love the trails, they would be out there every day either walking or on the fourwheelers with the other neighborhood teens. My daughter loves to hike in the woods and my son has been driving wheelers since he was small. Plus they would love the views from the top of the hill. It feels like you can see forever. Great start to the long holiday weekend….hope you are enjoying yours too....here comes summer!

In other news, my daughter just went to her junior prom...yep, junior prom, where does the time go? My princess is growing up so fast, next thing you know she'll be off at college and exploring the world. She's also got auditions for next year's musical coming up in a week and her music banquet the week after that, then final exams and then, finally, summer for her. Busy couple of weeks. Glad to help in any way I can...rides, driving lessons, study help, checking out colleges...you know how to find me baby girl, just ask and I'll be there.

My son is on his way to academic stardom. His grades are phenomenal and he will once again receive an award this year at awards night. He is super smart, just like his Grampa Chapman, and school has always come easy for him, but still I don't know how he does it. In addition to good grades, he plays sports all year round...and really intense sports too. This year he played football and was quarterback, then he jumped into wrestling, and from there he switched to lacrosse. So he does all that and still keeps his grades up. I am so proud of him! I'll be thinking of you son as you accept your award next week and go to your sports banquet the week after that. Good luck on your finals and have a great summer. Would love to take you out for some golf, or shooting, or fourwheeling this summer...oh wait, you're going to be 16 soon, we can go out driving...that would be fun...call me anytime!

Love and miss you both very much. Hope to see or talk to you soon.