I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

October 2012 - Fall Catch-up

It's been a while since I've posted, and while I'm just relaxing (rare) on a Sunday afternoon, watching the Giants stomp all over the 49ers and the Bills pull off a miracle....thought I'd catch the blog up to date.

So proud of my son and his first year on the high school football team. Sure he's having the time of his life and becoming a better player every game. He's very smart with the game, and quick too. He's probably too busy with football (his practice schedule is just nuts) to notice that hunting season has started. Been out a few times in the tree stand behind my house with the bow but haven't had a shot yet. My son would love being out there, it's so peaceful to see the sun rise on a crisp fall morning. The teenage boy next door (same age as my son) has been out too and seen a few deer but not had a shot yet either. Hopefully between us we'll get a couple deer this year. We have a neighbors "game dinner" each winter with a little bit of everyone's catch for the season - fish, venison, turkey. My garden was super productive this year too, so I've got lots of vegetables in the freezer we can cook up, would make a fine hunter's stew.

Nice to see both my kids enjoying high school together - football games, pep rallys, and homecoming fun. My daughter is once again in the school play and singing and dancing her little heart out. Love to see her having so much fun and using her talents. Very proud of both my kids. And nice to see them both doing well in school so far this year. Hope they are taking advantage of all the opportunities to meet and talk to colleges that come to the school. They both have such bright futures ahead of them.

Things have settled down since all the family activities this summer. Nonnie is getting ready to head back to Florida, had lunch with her and Aunt Grace the other day. Little balls of energy those two. They send their love, hugs and many many kisses...I'm sure you can imagine. Grampa just had his knee replaced and is doing just fine. He's going to be a bionic man soon - two hips, a knee...what's next? He can still out-golf me. Uncle Gene is feeling pretty good too after his pace maker was put in. I'll see him this week for some planning and maybe a little golf. So long as the visit includes some of my Aunt Candy's cooking...hint hint. The Nova Scotia cousins are busy with soccer, volleyball, part time jobs and looking at colleges. Grampa visited them again late this summer and had a great time spoiling his granddaughters. Sure he made them all kinds of yummy goodies just like he did when he visited me earlier this summer. My dad is a really good cook, definitely where I got it from.

Guess that's all that's been going on, just felt like I hadn't written in a while. Been making shorter comments and stuff on the Facebook and Twitter pages, so be sure to check there too. Sometimes those are easier that sitting down to write. As it is, this took all afternoon between games, movies and stuff around the house. In fact, the first sentence here is now history in the books, but I think I'll just leave it. Have a great night, finish your homework, love and miss you both very much!