I saw a photo of my daughter recently. She was wearing a sweatshirt and necklace that I bought her as a gift for her birthday. I was very excited to see this, because I haven’t had a relationship with my daughter, or my son, since early 2008. I thought, “she can’t be that mad at me if she’s wearing the gifts I sent her.”


My excitement was squashed when a friend of mine asked if I thought she knew the gifts were from me. This thought hadn't occurred to me. I thought “no, my ex wouldn’t do that”, but then again, I never thought she’d make good on her promise that if anything ever happened to our marriage I would never see my children again. I stayed in a loveless marriage just to be with my kids. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel disappointed and manipulated.


So, I’ve started this blog in hopes that my children will see it and know how much I love and miss them ~ always have and always will. I will never ever give up on them, and my heart and my door will always be open and waiting, no questions asked. And speaking of questions, maybe reading this will cause them to question some of the things they have heard, or not heard, or been led to believe. They are smart kids, I'm sure they will be able to see through the fog surrounding them eventually.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

March 2010

St. Patrick's Day - We used to bring the kids downtown to see the parade every year, they loved it, all the dancers, music, floats, and the candy. I'm sure my ex doesn't bring the kids any more. She knows I'll be there and the kids might see me, heaven forbid. I ran into my brother-in-law, his wife and their daughter. His daughter ran right up to me and gave me a big hug. It was so great to see them, and my niece is as cute and smiley as ever. I miss my brother-in-law. We were always good friends. I understand he needs to keep a polite distance out of respect for his sister, but it just doesn't need to be this way.
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