Play Ball!

Oh wait, wrong sport, but right idea....I mean let's play football! In case you missed it on my Facebook page or Twitter, Patrick threw a perfectly placed 30-yard touchdown pass to start off a major upset over state-ranked Webster Thomas last night, at their homecoming. Webster Thomas' homecoming. Ouch! You can see it online here or by clicking on the photo. I'm so excited that now that he's playing varsity, I can see all this great stuff and enjoy watching him play. I know how much he loves the game and it's so cool to see him in his zone.

Speaking of homecomings, Spencerport (where my son plays) won their homecoming game last weekend over Gates and it was the first time they ever beat Gates. So the Rangers are on a roll....keep it going boys! You've got big fans over here on the east side...and in Florida, Nova Scotia and Naples too!

So with this big news I thought it was as good a time as any to post a little note. I've been slacking on the blog front, I know. It's just so much easier to post to Facebook or Twitter. My son turned 17 at the end of August. Sent him a small package with some dress shirts, cologne and a certificate to Dick's. I figure he's probably always needing something from there with all the sports he plays and the dress shirts and cologne would be good for all those sports banquets, school dances and ceremonies. It seems so unreal, he's still a 10 year old boy in my mind. That was the last time I really saw him and spent any time with him. He's grown into a fine young man, very smart, good grades and still loves his sports. He plays all year-round - football, wrestling and lacrosse, with some golf in the summer. Keeps him fit and healthy I'm sure.

Hope he knows how much I love and miss him. We all do. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. We all wish him the very best and are rooting for the Rangers to take it ALL THE WAY this year! Reach for it! Get it! Never give up!

Football already? Where did summer go?

I swear each year summer goes by faster and faster. No sooner do I get the kids report cards and then suddenly it’s time for football to start back up again. My son kicked some serious butt at school this year. His brilliance continues to amaze me. He’s going to have so many options for college and whatever he decides to do in life. My daughter did really well too and I was thrilled to see that she pulled through on her AP Biology course. I’m sure that was a ton of work, but she made it happen and that’s what counts.

Was also really great to see both of them in the August newsletter for their school – my son for participating in a fundraiser with his lacrosse team for cancer research and my daughter for singing with her choir at graduation. How cool to be able to perform at your own graduation!

Nothing makes me happier than seeing how much my son looks EXACTLY like me, although it is a bit like looking in a time warped mirror. No escaping the fact that my kids are Chapmans. In fact, this summer I got to see my Aunt Dawn, who I haven’t seen in many years because she lives out of town, and I was stunned at how much my daughter looks like her. To be fair, my daughter also looks a lot like her mother and grandmother on her mother’s side, but she’s also very  much a Chapman. Particularly her blue eyes, the shape of her face and her body.

In addition to seeing my Aunt Dawn, I got to spend a lot of time this summer in Naples visiting family. Aunt Dawn brought all of my cousins with her so there were a ton of kids playing in the pond at Uncle Hugh & Aunt Lori’s camp, including some kids my kids have never even met, my cousins’ kids. I still remember the fish my son caught in that pond. Such a fight it broke his pole! The kids came prepared with their dirt bikes and 4-wheelers. I couldn’t believe how good they were on them, especially the little girls! They do spend a lot of time camping though and a bunch of them are home schooled, so they learn different things….useful things like how to drive and be responsible with motor vehicles. Just so ya know, I was the first to spot and call out the Swiss Cheese church, every time, on the beautiful drive down to Naples  :) That ride never gets old, it’s breathtaking. I also took the 4-wheeler down to my Dad’s old cabin and grabbed a bunch of rocks out of the stream for my garden. The lawn chairs are still there sitting by the stream. Dad sold the place years ago and the guy who bought it got transferred with his job a few months after buying it. Now it only gets used a couple times a year when they vacation there. Such a shame. Wish I could have bought it just to keep it in the family. Lots of great memories with my kids there. They loved that place.

I also got to spend a lot of time with my Dad and step mom this year. They visited for 3½ weeks and stayed with me. It’s really nice being able to spend that time with him, it’s the only time we see each other during the year since they moved to Florida a few years back and sold the cabin. Dad is doing good, his health is recovering but he is getting rather forgetful and that makes me so sad. There were a lot of family parties, including several in Naples, a BBQ at my house, and my step brother’s son’s graduation from high school. My step-nephew Zack is the same age as my daughter. He will be going to MCC this coming fall. He’s not sure what he wants to study, so he’s just going to knock off his gen-ed courses and figure out what excites him. He works in the family restaurant in Webster when he’s not in school. My niece Rachel on the other hand knows exactly what she wants to do. She wants to study Forensics. She’s just now going into her junior year of high school and is looking around at colleges that offer soccer scholarships, probably here in the US. She’s a phenomenal soccer player and should be able to get some serious cash for college that way, she is being heavily recruited. My niece Sydney is going into her second year of college studying Therapeutic Recreation while living at home and working at the skating center in her town. She loves it and is also looking at opportunities to transfer into a US college, possibly near here. Would be great to have her stay with me for a year or two while she goes to school.

Speaking of schools, my 30th high school reunion was this year. Hard to believe it’s been that long, and yet it was definitely long ago. I saw a lot of people 5 years ago at my 25th reunion, but 30 years is a game changer. I couldn’t believe how many people were divorced, remarried, had kids and step kids, and more importantly were there with their new partners and getting along fine and having a great time joking around and telling stories with their former spouses and their new partners. Really made me smile that for as many people that go through bitter nightmare divorces, there are equal numbers of mature adults that behave otherwise. Those are the kinds of examples that children (even adult children) should see, so they know the world doesn’t have to be so black and white….all or nothing….exclusive control versus sharing….mine versus yours.

Lastly I would like to share with you a letter I got from my daughter last month. It was the first note and communication from her since her mom and I divorced in early 2008 when she was 11. I sent her a gift package for her graduation and it came back to me, fully opened and all the unwrapped presents still in the same box I sent it in, with this note written on the back of the card I sent her. It broke my heart and made me very sad. Sad that my daughter would say such a thing and be so disrespectful. It definitely didn’t feel like something the sweet young lady I raised would say nor did it reflect the Christian values that she was brought up with. I am completely perplexed on many levels, the first being that she turned 18 two months before she graduated, why wait until graduation to return gifts? Why not send back the 18th birthday gifts? In fact, if my gifts and love for her were so bothersome, why not send all the previous gifts over the years back? No need to wait until she was 18 to assert herself. She’s been asserting herself since the day she was born, why wait for a certain moment. The other thing that surprises me is that she even sent back the money I sent her for school. Now I have no idea if she is even going to college, but in any event, what 18 year old doesn’t want cash – none that I know.

Once I got over the initial shock of her letter, I realized that it really didn’t make any difference at all. She is still my daughter and I love her with all my heart, always will, no matter what, unconditionally. You can’t unlove a daughter, or a son for that matter, any more than you can unlove your mom, your brother or sister, your grandparents, or your father.  They are your flesh and blood, a part of you. Your family will always be your family….you can’t send them back.

My hope for my daughter, and my son, is that they never have to experience this kind of hurt and rejection from their own children someday. I hope they choose wisely when they choose the person they will marry and start a family with, and should something go wrong (heaven forbid) and their marriage falls apart, I hope the person they once loved enough to have children with will not tell outrageous stories to wrestle control and access to their children away from them and manipulate the hearts and minds of young children too vulnerable and isolated to know what is happening to them.  I hope they will be close enough to their children that their kids will be able to distinguish self-imposed martyrdom from reality and be strong enough to stand up on their own two feet and love both parents. It’s so important on so many levels.

Father's Day 2014

The other day I got the best Father's Day present I have received in the last 6 years. My Aunt Candy sent me a letter that my daughter sent her and my Uncle Gene back in January 2003, when my daughter was just 6 years old. It's the most adorable thing ever. I love the little butterfly stickers, it's so her. I wonder if she still has the photo she mentioned in the letter.

I love and miss my kids so much. I know they love and miss me and their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins too. I hope they know all they need to do is speak up and reach out. They are practically adults now, they can do what they want. There are plenty of people around them who will help them, they just need to ask. I will always be here, waiting with open arms, an open door and an open heart.

I will talk with my own Dad a little later today. He will be coming to visit soon and staying with me for almost a month. I can't wait, it's the only time each year we get to spend time together and as I've gotten older I've really come to treasure these times. We will probably go golfing, play cards, have lots of dinner table conversation, and a big family BBQ at my house with my sister and her family and our aunts, uncles and cousins from Naples.

I will also spend part of my day thinking about all the good times I had with my kids in their first 10 & 11 years when we were all together, maybe look at some old photos and listen to Jimmy Buffet, lol. And I will celebrate the delightful young lady and young man they have become, I am so proud of them. They didn't get that way by not having a daddy their first 10 & 11 years. My daughter is getting ready to graduate high school and start college and my son is wrapping up his sophomore year of high school. They both had lots of end of school year parties, concerts, banquets and travels - I am sure they are making wonderful memories with their friends and the other half of their family. I'm also sure they know the other half of their family loves and misses them and can't wait to see them again some day.

Lastly, I want to wish a very happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there - the ones who will see or talk to their kids and grandkids today, as well as the ones who won't. My heart goes out to you, as well as to my children.

Happy 18th Birthday Baby Girl!

It's true, my little princess turns 18 on Easter Sunday this year. It's been 7 years since I last gave her a great big birthday hug and smooch. So as she approaches this exciting milestone in her life, I thought I would share with her, and all of you, some of the great memories I have of her and our good times together. We don't stop growing up just because we turn 18. In fact we grow a little faster and it seems like time starts flying by. Little by little we start to realize just how short life is and how important it is to embrace and live every moment with love in our hearts.

Of course, since I'm obviously not that great at keeping up the long writing here on the blog (my last writing was Christmas, what a slacker), it's much easier for me to share these great memories in photos. So they will all be on the Facebook page and I invite you all to stop in there and check them out (see link on the right). I will post often throughout the coming week.

Enjoy the photo trip down memory lane and have a most wonderful birthday Cecilia. I love you very much, as does the whole rest of your family that misses you too. Hugs and kisses xox

Merry Christmas 2013

Getting in the Christmas spirit! The kids gifts are wrapped and sent out, and the holiday preparation has begun. The house is decorated, looks and smells like cozy winter, and the kids stockings and ornaments are all hung waiting for Santa, ha ha. Hey, in my house, Santa still comes, you might not believe, but I do and he hasn’t failed me yet. 

I’m making pies for Christmas and managed to finally perfect a scratch pie crust recipe over Thanksgiving, thanks to my friend Steve who gave me a great tip. I got three deer this hunting season – well actually, I got two and my neighbor gave me one because he already had enough – so I made tons of jerky (which is already gone) and tried my hand at sausage, which came out great. Will be making some of that for Christmas as well. I even tried making breakfast sausage and it came out awesome (if I don’t say so myself). It’s amazing what you can do with spices, who knew.

The Christmas cards with photos have been arriving each day. My cousin Marty’s boy Evan is getting so big and super smart, and my cousin Brady’s kids are so cute and a ton of fun to watch on Facebook. They live in DC and got a bunch of snow a few weeks ago, so they got a nice taste of winter and made their share of snowmen and forts. My friend who had a little girl and named her Cecilia (same as my daughter) is getting big too and even has the same big blue eyes as my baby girl. Just love watching all these kids grow, including my own. Life is good.

Excited to talk to my nieces in a few days. My oldest niece Sydney graduated high school and started college this year, can’t wait to hear how her first semester was. Rachel has been doing great in school and traveling all over playing soccer. She should be ready for volleyball soon, I’ll get an update in a few days. My god-daughter Abby has completed basic training in the Army National Guard Reserves and is living down south, not sure if I’ll get to see her for the holidays. Her sister Katie is busy with school and working at Savoia Bakery preparing to be a pastry chef in college.

My parents are hangin’ in and enjoying their retirement. Dad is feeling pretty good despite going in for a routine stress test and ending up with two heart stent surgeries. He’s feeling much better now that he’s had them done though. He and my step mom have been busy with some charity work they do for the Ocala Forest Children nearby their home in The Villages. I think my dad works a lot in retirement, but it’s a good kind of work and he certainly seems to be enjoying himself. My mom is doing good too. She didn’t stay here long this summer because she and my step dad bought a new house, literally right across the street from their old one, right before they left in the spring, so she was late getting here and left early to take care of things down in Florida. One of these years I’ll have to spend the holidays in Florida so I can see them both for Christmas.

I’ll spend New Year’s with friends nearby as I have for the last few years. They are friends that I snowmobile with and there is a whole mess of kids in the group. I think I mentioned last year that they put on a “New Year’s Spectacular” right after the ball drops that is so great – singing and dancing and performing. Love it. Speaking of ball dropping, wonder if my daughter knows about the Time Square Countdown app for her phone. It’s pretty cool. You can keep track of the count down in NYC and even get live streaming video. My daughter is crazy about NYC, pretty sure she’ll live there someday when she gets a job on Broadway. Who knows, maybe both my kids will be there - my daughter on Broadway and my son playing for the NY Giants ;)

I’m sure my kids will be busy through the holidays as well, despite the two weeks off of school, between play rehearsals and wrestling tournaments and family time with their mom’s family they will be plenty busy. Wishing them, and their friends and their mom’s family, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2014. They too have a whole bunch of younger kids around to make the holidays extra fun. Love and miss ya both very much and would love to see you….just call or email, I’m here for you, always will be, with open arms and an open heart. xox

Funny How Genetics Works, huh

I'm sure I've said it once or twice before on here, and the JeffsKids.com Facebook page, and the JeffsKidsDotCom Twitter page....that my kids both look exactly like me, there is no mistaking the fact they are my kids. My daughter looks like me now - the shape of her face, her eyes, her smile, some of her mannerisms, and definitely her sense of humor (ok, so that last one is not appearance related, but it is genetic). And my son looks like me at his age - his hair and hair line, ears, eye and face structure, his nose and lips, when he smiles, and of course his book smarts (same disclaimer as above), all of which is becoming more and more evident as he gets older. What really struck me was this old photo I found of me in college. I looked right at it and said "whoa, there's Patrick." Those of you reading who know him, and me, can probably guess where I am in this photo. Good thing I wasn't sporting a 'stache yet at that point, lol. Science is a wonderful thing :)

Fall - Summer Catch-up

What happened to summer? One minute my kids are wrapping up the school year and getting ready for chillin' and summer camps, and the next minute they are right back in for another full year of games, meets, reports, projects, concerts and theatre performances. Wish I could have spent some time with them over the summer, there were so many fun times they would have enjoyed....maybe next year.

The early summer brought an early start to the garden this year. I planted all the usuals - corn, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, squash, onions, garlic - and had a great design layed out, but an early frost and waaaaaay too much rain kinda ruined it. Well, that and the second year in a row of deer over-population. I think they thought I was growing a food plot for THEM! Will have to do my best to counter that this bow season, ha ha. Starting to get a little bit of veggies now. The corn half survived and what I did get was fantastic, so that's good. Not sure I'll have enough tomatoes for a pot of sauce, but the tomato-cuke salads with fresh basil so far have been amazing.

My dad and step mom came for a visit and stayed with me for a few weeks, in the kids' bedrooms. They keep pretty busy when they are here - visiting friends and my step brothers - but we had plenty of fun dinners on the deck and the usual (what's become an annual) family BBQ with my aunts, uncles and cousins from Naples. All the kids are getting so big. Austin is playing soccer, Evan is smart as a whip and really knows his hunting and outdoor stuff. Even Cassidy is getting quite the little personality on her. Aunt Candy retired this year, so her and Uncle Gene are whooping it up with friends and making plans for where they might go next, maybe Florida with my dad. They've been talking about that for years.

While my dad was here, my daughter had a theatre performance, so my dad and step-mom went to see her. They were thrilled. They didn't get to actually talk to her or anything, but they said she looked like she was having the time of her life, definitely in her element. At one point in the show, my daughter was dancing in the aisles among the audience and stopped right in front of my dad. He could hear her sing loud and clear and was absolutely beaming when he got home - chattering on like a teenager himself. I'm so happy they had a chance to see her while they were here. They try to call my kids to make arrangements to see them while they are here, but their calls go unanswered and unreturned, so they too miss out on seeing them. Also very cool was my dad ran into the guy who was making and selling videos of the performance and he ordered a few of them, one for me. So I will get to see her too, as soon as the video arrives, can't wait!

My sister, brother-in-law and nieces also came in for a few weeks, right before my dad came so their visits didn't overlap enough for all of us to be together at once, which was kind of a bummer. Things change as kids get older, their schedules and activities change the way families spend time together, especially when everyone lives in different cities. This year my sister's visit was so short we didn't even go to Ohio to see my grandmother like we usually do. I will have to capture my mother one of these weekends and take a ride out there. Gramma is 93 this year, every year counts! My niece Rachel was in a regional soccer tournament in Thunder Bay (google it, it's far) during the beginning of the trip, so she only got to spend a few days here, but at least we all got to see her. Spent some time with my niece Sydney who is going off to college this year, well, not exactly going off....she will live at home, but she's got a lot of hard work ahead of her, on top of a little job to help pay for it. Can't wait to hear how her first year goes! After my dad's visit here, he went up to Nova Scotia for 10 days to spend time with my sister and nieces, so they did get to see him afterall.

Also earlier this summer, a friend of mine had her first baby and named her Cecilia, they even spelled it the same....I was so stinkin' excited you would have thought "I" was having a baby, lol. She's the cutest thing, tons of curly brown hair, and will hang out and "talk" with just about anyone...not unlike my Cecilia. Yes, she too will be keeping her Aunts on the phone for hours at age 5, I'm sure of it. Sadly, my friend's husband got a new job in Florida and they just moved a few weeks ago, so I won't get to see Cecilia as much, but the pictures and stories on Facebook make my day.

Like many people in Rochester, I got to spend some time at the PGA Championship while it was here in town. I hope my son went. I would have loved to take him, but perhaps his Papa or Uncles took him instead. A rep from one of the companies I work with gave me two grounds passes to the 2nd round. So instead of my son, I took a friend of mine who works across the street from me. We had a blast. Spent nearly the whole day there and got to see a lot of players. We're so lucky to have such a huge event come to Rochester every 10 years or so. I went to the last one too. Maybe by the time the next one comes around my son will want to go with me. I sure hope so, it was a ton of fun and my son used to like golf, hope he still does because....

My son turned 16 a few days ago and many of the gifts I sent him were golf related. I know he mostly plays football now, and lacrosse and wrestling, but hopefully he still enjoys golf and gets out once in a while with his friends or his mom's family. If not, maybe some of the certificates will entice him to get back out there and give it another try. He's kinda an all-around sports guy, so perhaps. When he was younger, he was on a golf league with his friend Jason and Tyler-  they loved it. We used to take them out to Latta Lee to golf. Not too far from where he lives now. Like a lot of kids, baseball and football sorta takes over because that's what is most popular. Golf is something that your family needs to be into, we used to go quite a bit. I know his Papa works at a country club nearby and his uncles still go quite a bit, so maybe he still gets out. For his birthday I sent him a little souvenir from the PGA - to remind him that we have a father-son date for the next time, and a gift certificate to Dick's so he can get something he needs for football or sneakers or something. I'm sure he needs stuff every time you turn around. I sure wish he would call and ask me to help. I would call him, but that's kind of hard when your phone is blocked. He'll just need to find a way to call me. I'll be waiting, for as long as it takes, call any time.

In the mean time, here comes another year of fun. First football game was yesterday. Sure he played great. Hope he's still getting a shot at quarterback. Chorus and the school play are my daughter's thing and the play runs in November, so this is her busy time for that. Homecoming will be here shortly and my kids always seem to enjoy that too....the parades, pep rallies, bonfire and games. Have a great time kids and enjoy these years while they are here. My daughter is a senior this year, so I'm sure this year is extra special for her. After that, who knows. Sure hope she's making plans to pursue her talents, there are a lot of good performance schools around here and she certainly knows enough people in them to teach her the ropes. Love and miss ya both, very much. Keep an eye on Facebook and Twitter for the quick updates and snarky comments, ha ha....and I'll post another longer update as events warrant. Love ya!